PDA & Anxiety in young people
According to the National Autistic Society, PDA is characterised by an overwhelming need to avoid demands, often driven by anxiety, which makes everyday expectations feel like insurmountable threats. This avoidance is not a deliberate choice but a response to intense internal resistance and fear triggered by demands.
Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is widely recognised as a profile within the autism spectrum, characterised by extreme avoidance of demands and expectations in everyday life. While PDA is not yet a formally recognised diagnosis in standard diagnostic tools like the DSM-V or ICD-11, it is commonly described alongside an autism diagnosis due to its distinct features
People with PDA experience an overwhelming need to avoid demands, including ordinary demands like getting dressed or completing ttass, even if its something they want to do or usually enjoy (safe avtivities) for aurora it's swimming, since trialling swim classes with school and signing up to my local sen pool classes she had absolutely thrived but that's not to say she's avoided it right up to the pool side despite it being what she looks forward to the most come weekends.
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Common triggers for PDAers are
Hyper-sensitivity: sounds, textures, lights, smells, or tastes can become unbearable, leading to anxiety or distress.
Hypo-sensitivity: not getting all the sensory information needed by the brain. This can result in trying to make up for it by being loud, very physical, clumsy or taking risks.
Sensory overload: a buildup of sensory input can lead to PDAers feeling overwhelmed and freezing or zoning out. For some it can cause a meltdown where they experience a temporary loss of control and lash out verbally or physically. They may feel an urgent need to escape.
Internal bodily differences: difficulty recognising things like hunger, thirst, or pain, making it harder to manage thoughts, emotions and behaviour. This is known as interoception.
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Managing PDA takes patience & understanding. Not something I was born with naturally myself. Often finding myself hiding away for that naughty sweet treat (aka dopamine rush). Hiding and taking 10 minute break can be more rewarding that arguing with a PDAer. Time often gives us both time to reflect and more patience with each other when we retry. I have no magic miracle tactic, if I knew it i would share but various approaches you may find helpful below
understanding behaviours. Do your research, join our community support growing by the day, take time outs.
adjusting your mindset. Often the hurtful things said are easy to let gey to you but you have to take it with a pinch of salt when it's a lash out situation. Often they don't like feeling the way they do themselves.
optimising the environment. Reduce triggers in your environment, calm and neutral bedroom decor avoiding deep colours like black and red.
reducing the perception of demands. Offering choice rather than demanf can be the smallest change with the biggest impact. But be kind to yourself it's a journey changing your entire mindset. You may slip up and that's ok. We all have!
being cautious with rewards/praise/sanctions. Remember pda is not a choice. It's a chemical imbalance is strongly connected to autism. Teaching them right from wrong is different to example punishing then for avoiding a sock compared to physically hurting someone. There is a difference and alot of stigma talks about children being the way they are due to gentle parenting. To that I disagree we gentle parent but most definatley teach our children right from wrong.
supporting sensory needs. When a child with pda is demand avoiding uts important to stay calm. Adding pressure only angers the situation more. Removing pressures and meeting sensory needs can make a huge impact. Simple things like a favourite comforter or fidget as we are doing simple.clear 1 quotation options.
supporting social interaction & communication. The social aspect of PDA has to be my most concerning eith auroras needs being very demanding its always a fear she will struggle to maintain friendships. Often in her heart dying to want to go on that school trip but her head is in control removing that option. It's soul destroying for young people who cannot understand who they are.
approaching distressed behaviour. Getting through to a PDA young person when they are in that anxiety rhelm doesn't exist. Often in auroras case it meant if you got close you got hurt with a book or chair being thrown across the room. In her case it's best suited to give her space and time. Often can go from furious and destroying the school library to skipping merrily out of the room a hour later like nothing happened. Often she doesn't remember bits when in that frantic rage. Although this works for her it may not for your child. Below you can find some other examples to try. Let us know if any work we love to hear your stories 😊
- Offering choice and flexibility. Reducing the demand and giving option can often comfort the young person
- Respect independence. Make reasonable adjustments to accomidate for PDAer. So what if they eat on the floor and not at the table?
- Creaf a safe space. PDAers particularly st pre teenage age require a quit safe space they can retreat to if they feel overwhelmed. They will offer them a opportunity to learn to recognise themselves bubbling. Learning strategies to self sooth isn't the worst option especially when people can be a trigger. My daughter had always struggled with the eyes. Always feels peers stare at her when often this isn't the case at all
- Sensory tools. Such as toys, headphones, weighted blankets, chewys etc. Providing safe sensory stimulates positive endorphins which helps aid the young person in self soothing techniques and a way to regulate the emotions they feel. I appreciate they can be pricey. Check out claudwell children's charity for example having a grant process for sensory equipment https://www.caudwellchildren.com/changing-lives/how-we-can-help/equipment/sensory-equipment/
- PDAers often need movement to regulate. movement breaks can make a big difference. Speak to your school about movement breaks. If needed you can do it formally. Linked in our parent carer support page you can find a template to help get you started
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PDA Society has a very informative website. Grab a cuppa and have a read. https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/what-helps-guides/
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Let's talk anxiety! From our pour if view anxiety didn't appear to become a issue until around 2021/2022 although always appeared to be heightened alert we didn't have battles we do now as a result of anxiety. Particularly roras index fingers are missing from the bed up. Persistent biting being her regulator and often having to switch fingers for chewys (when is never appreciated either). Now nearing 11 i have genuine concerns she will have long term damage to what was her nails.
This however is just how it presents in roras case. There are lots of symptoms to look out for when concerned your young person may have anxiety. I found this amazing document prepared by be kind to yourself mind I wanted to share
https://acrobat.adobe.com/id/urn:aaid:sc:EU:e7a87b84-587d-4c62-9c52-ec154aedf5a9